


The Sweet Scent of Books

by queerpoodles



Category: Warrior Nun (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Library, Books, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Food, Happy Ending, Meet-Cute, Physical Disability
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-24
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-16 07:27:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28952685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queerpoodles/pseuds/queerpoodles
Summary: Ava loves reading. She decided to visit the library one day but the wheelchair ramp was out of order. A woman, the librarian, helps her out.orAva meets Beatrice outside the library and almost crushes her toes with her wheelchair.
Relationships: Sister Beatrice/Ava Silva
Comments: 16
Kudos: 79





	1. hey look, there’s a pretty girl!

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! It’s been a while since I’ve written anything so I really hope that isn’t too obvious here. Haven’t seen a library fic here on AO3 so thought it would be fun to do just that. Hope you guys will enjoy this!

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Ava says as she wheels her overpriced and undercompensated insurance company wheelchair directly in front of the tape blocking out the ramp up to the doors. 

She sighs as she wheels her chair in the direction she came from since her plan to visit the library did not work out the way she wanted it to. But then, she almost knocks into a girl. A woman. A lady. She didn't know. She just was in so much panic because she thought the front of the wheels might've crushed the poor girl's toes.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry. I didn't see you when I was turning and are your feet okay? I can't see the wheels and it has been a danger to everyone that is within proximity of me every single time I'm out."

The girl in front of her looked up from the sheer nearness caused by their almost-collision and quickly said "No, no, don't worry about that. I should be the one apologizing. I didn't see you turning and I was just looking for my punch card in my backpack. And no, my feet are safe from those wheels!" And with that, the girl gave an amused grin. 

"Okay. That's cool… I'll just be on my way then. Sorry, again. I know you said it's your fault but it's still partly mine.”, she laughs and stops. “Oh, God. Did I just say that out loud? Using iMessage has ruined my professional conversation skills." Ava pauses out of sheer first-hand embarrassment for herself. Then she decides it's better to just leave or else she'll burn under the hot sun alongside her dignity. Or whatever that's left of it anyways. 

As Ava gave a quick and barely-there wave to the girl, the girl, who sported a ponytail with a red plaid shirt and jeans promptly said "Wait! Are you here for the library?"

"Umm, yeah, but it seems like the ramp is blocked off for some renovation work? It's okay I guess it's just not my day I suppose."

"Yeah, the contractors just started working on them and the state fundings didn't cover an impromptu ramp which is just ignorant, on their part. It's okay, I can help you up, it's just a couple of steps anyways." the girl says with a smile at the end.

"What? Oh, no. No, I can't let you do that, I'm probably not very light either and it's going to be a big hassle for you." 

The girl grins at Ava and walks towards the back of Ava and says “It’s no problem, what’s your name by the way? Sorry I got caught up and didn’t ask for it.” She gently maneuvered the wheelchair to the few steps and said, “Grab onto the chair, okay?”.

And with that, the girl somehow carried the wheelchair with Ava sitting on top of it to the front door of the library. “Wow, oh my God. I’m Ava. Ava Silva. And how’re you so strong? I’m probably not the lightest person, I had a big breakfast today.” 

The girl laughs softly while pushing the library door and turns to Ava. “That’s a nice name, Ava. I’m Beatrice, and no you aren’t that heavy at all and I’m not that strong. I work out a few times a week just to get that sweat going.” At Beatrice’s mention of working out and sweat, Ava flushed as she pushed away from the sudden thought of how the girl standing at the door would have looked like when doing pull-ups. 

The librarian, Ava had concluded that Beatrice was indeed one who walked inside the door and waved her in. Ava attempted a casual smile and failed. “Well, I’m going to go get some books now. Thanks for everything, Beatrice.”

“It’s no problem. I’ll be over there at the counter if you need any help. Have a good day, Ava.” Beatrice’s lips curved upward slightly and turned around towards the direction of the counter. 

And with that, Ava maneuvers her wheelchair around to the books. She’s been here just a few times. After her accident happened, she found herself with an abundance of time on her hands at the cold, sterile, and medicinal scent of the hospital ward. Luckily, her friend, Mary, gave her a couple of books to fill up her time there. She would have to thank her again for that the next time she meets her. Hours upon hours were spent reading and indulging herself in different worlds and different characters. At least that was one good thing that came out of that whole incident.


	2. time to visit the library

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ava visits the library, once again.

Ava loves reading. Not as much as food but it’s up there, for sure. She reads mostly fantasy and science-fiction though she’s open to trying new material from time-to-time. She reads fantasy and sci-fi as a form of escapism from everything around her. When she was younger, she had Diego reading the Bible aloud to her. They both had a great time making jokes about the stories that the nuns would probably not be too happy about if they heard them. 

It was the day after she visited the library and she had checked out a book that she wanted to read for some time now. It was Priory of the Orange Tree by Samantha Shannon. It was getting a lot of clout on Twitter and she loved high fantasy and powerful, bad-ass women so she had to try it out. She was intimidated by the sheer size of the hardback but she was as determined to get through it as soon as possible. While flipping through the pages, just admiring the smell of the book, which was amazing as always, Ava suddenly recalled that interaction she had with the librarian the day before. The girl was nothing but kind to her and they barely talked after that but something is endearing about her that made Ava curious about her. She shut those thoughts out of her mind for later and decided to start the book.

\--  
Ava loved the book. She finished the mammoth of a novel within a few days, desperately sneaking in time to read whenever she can when she’s not off teaching local kids alphabets and numbers at the community center. The story was a classic fantasy with its tropes and all but she found it refreshing when the protagonists were mostly women. It's always comforting to see more ladies represented in the media for Ava, it made her feel a sense of belonging in this sometimes, shitty world. There's something that she keeps thinking about though. There was a lesbian couple at the forefront of for the romance in the book. It's not that she's not aware of queerness or anything but she rarely saw that in the entertainment she consumed. They were mostly on the sidelines. A line or two from them. Maybe a couple mentioned by the main characters. Sometimes they are brutally murdered for absolutely no reason. It felt new to her and surprisingly, natural. She thought all this would be feeling a little odd for her considering she dates only guys. Well, at least she dated a guy. JC, that is. He was nice to her and very attractive but he wasn't the one for her. Not in this life, at least.

Ava typed out her long review for her Goodreads profile and spent time adding plenty of GIFS to perfectly express her feelings about the book too. It turned out long but she was satisfied with it nonetheless. She posted her review and slammed her laptop shut. She sets a reminder for her to get the book back to the library before she gets fined for going over the overdue date. 

\--

Saturday

Beatrice is pushing a trolley with a buttload of books atop it on a Saturday morning. She loves it. She loves this job and she was oh so very grateful for it considering her past 'career'. Being a nun wasn't a super resume appealing experience to have for most employers. It was extremely lucky that she even got accepted for this one. Her knowledge of books probably helped her a lot though. She arranges the books following the Dewey decimal system, another thing she enjoyed. Following rules. It's something she thrives in. Doing what's supposed to be done and what's the best. She has her AirPods in her ears, with some Beethoven arrangements playing while she gets through the rest of the books.

As she places the last book, she sees a girl. The girl is in a wheelchair, a thick novel atop her lap.

Oh, it's Ava! Beatrice recalls in her head.

She quickly pauses the music and keeps the AirPods in the pocket of her jeans. Beatrice walks over to the girl who was trying to return her book into the 'Return Box' next to the main counter. She was struggling a little, the box was positioned a bit inconveniently and she tried stretching to reach it. 

"Here, let me put that back for you." Beatrice offers.

Ava turns her head a little too quickly when she hears a familiar voice. She finds herself looking at Beatrice, which she did not think about the few days whenever she was not reading. At all.

"Oh, oh. Okay. Thank you so much."

Beatrice gave a small smile and leaned down to grab the book from Ava's hands. She accidentally brushed the back of Ava's hands when she took the book. That little moment between them shook Beatrice a bit. She made the mistake of looking into the other girl's eyes when she took it and she didn't mean to. She just did? She had no time to process this. She quickly placed the book into the box and turned back to Ava. Beatrice is stunned because of that sudden touch. She's not used to having physical touch at all, so every time something like this happens, she feels an awkwardness filling in her. 

"It's funny how you're always helping me whenever we meet. It's kind of our thing, huh?" Ava laughs.

Beatrice pulled herself together and scrambled in her brain for an appropriate response. “I noticed that as well.” 

She didn’t know how to respond to Ava’s question so she decided to change the topic. 

“So… are you new here? I’ve never seen you here before, I think.” 

“Yeah, sort of. I haven’t been here in years. The last time I was here was with my mom. That was a long time ago, though.” Ava pauses. 

“Before I got these bad boys!” Ava points playfully at the wheelchair with her index fingers. “Some say that these four hot wheels can catch the hearts of guys even better than girls with big boobs!” Ava laughs awkwardly at her joke. 

Beatrice laughs at Ava’s poor attempt at humoring her but she appreciates the effort made. “Well, you being new here makes sense since I’ve been here for almost 2 years, and yet I have never met you before. Do you still come here with your mom?” Beatrice asks, curiously. 

“No.… She died quite some time ago. Hey, don’t make that sad face, it’s okay. I got over that already. Fun fact though, I got paralyzed because of that accident. Okay, maybe not so fun?” Ava looks away from Beatrice, a little detached suddenly.

“That is not too fun, Ava. But thank you for sharing that with me.” Beatrice says. Ava was unresponsive. She looked up at her and smiled slightly. Beatrice could tell that the smile had a tinge of sadness to it. She recognized it instantly. She had one too, sometimes. “Screw it.” She decided that she would step up and be a nice person because the girl in front of her needed to be comforted. She bent down on one knee and gave Ava an awkward hug. Ava was silent at first but returned the hug by gently placing her arms around Beatrice’s back. Beatrice shuddered lightly at the reciprocated touch. 

“I don’t know you that well and I don’t know what you’ve gone through but you looked like you needed a hug. Hope it makes you feel better?” Beatrice is surprised by her candidness and behavior today. She didn’t do things like this with people. Not even her friends. She decided to not think about it too much.

“Thank you. It does. I never had a hug this good in a long time.” Ava says, softly, almost in a whisper. They both stayed in that position for a while. Then, Beatrice slowly let go. The warmth of their bodies felt good. She admitted to herself that it felt comforting for herself too to hug and be hugged by someone else. She didn’t have much of these moments herself. 

“I’m sorry, I made the joke in the first place but got all emotional of a sudden. I guess it just brought back some painful memories that I tell myself I got over already. I…I probably shouldn’t have dumped that much of ‘me’ to you in a short time.” 

“Hey, don’t feel bad about that. I…I understand. And I don’t think that was too much. It’s never too much. There’s always more. More to be said so why not say what you want to, right?” Beatrice replies. She didn’t know what she was doing anymore. A hug? Now an entire conversation that was deeper than what she imagined she would have with Ava. Not that she thought of the prospect of her conversing with Ava. Not at all.

“Well…. Since I think I exposed myself a bit today, how about a cup of coffee, whenever you’re free? I feel bad making you go through whatever that was and I want to make it up to you. So, coffee?” Ava offered, with a smile. A real smile, with her teeth showing.

Beatrice was surprised by Ava’s sudden proposition of a coffee meetup. She didn’t expect the other girl to want to be friends with her or anything like that. “Sure. But please, Ava, don’t feel bad about showing how you feel. It’s a brave thing for you to do something like that with someone like me, someone you barely know too. Though coffee with you sounds great.” Beatrice said. 

“God, ‘coffee with you sounds great’? What am I saying.” Beatrice silently said to herself while feeling like facepalming herself with the whole reply she gave Ava.

Ava smiled at Beatrice’s reply. “Thanks, Beatrice. I noticed you said ‘someone like you’. You’re not just someone though. I know you for a full, umm, probably…” Ava jokingly checks her non-existent watch on her wrist and says, cheekily “I don’t know, 2 to 3 hours at most? And you’re one of the nicest people I’ve ever met. Don’t be too hard on yourself, okay?” 

“It’s just, I’m not used to ‘this’, this whole friend thing. It doesn’t come as natural as I would like it to be.” Beatrice says.

“That’s what a coffee hangout could help with! How about tomorrow at noon? We could get some cakes and desserts while we’re there.” Ava says, the excitement growing.

“Yes, yes. Where do you want to get coffee at?”

“There’s a good place down the street. It’s called Camila Cafe and the owner is nice and they serve really good food there too, besides the drinks, of course.” Ava maneuvers her body to reach for her phone in her pocket. She holds her phone up to Beatrice. “Here, put in your phone number and I’ll text you the location. And maybe some memes.” Ava attempts to hide her growing smile but fails.

Beatrice laughed at that but decidedly agreed that that was probably best so she wouldn’t get lost on the way there. She types in her contact information and passes the phone back to Ava. 

“Thanks, Bea!” Ava smiles, looking up at Beatrice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am aware that this fic moves fairly fast when it comes to Ava and Beatrice’s relationship progression. I would love to do a much longer and slow-burn in the future but I have an exam in less than a month so this was the best I could do, unfortunately. I’m happy with how it turned out though.


	3. coffee date?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beatrice arrives early to their meet-up and they get to know each other through Ava’s love of food.

Ahead of the coffee ‘date’, Ava decided that since she had Beatrice’s number, why not text her? She sent her the infamous Kermit the Frog meme, the one with the hearts all around the frog as her opening text.

**Beatrice: Hmm, let me guess… Ava? From the library?**

**Ava: no!**

**Ava: i mean yes. no. this is Ava from the gym.**

**Beatrice: Oh, Ava from the gym? Don’t think I know anyone named Ava at the gym, though. Must’ve gotten the wrong number, Mrs. Kermit.**

**Ava laughs at that. She didn’t know what she was doing right now but she’s having fun.**

**Ava: hey! don’t say mrs.kermit like it's an insult! also, i didn’t know you went to the gym. no wonder you got those sick muscles bea!**

Ava recalled that first interaction she had with Beatrice. She remembered the other girl’s muscular arms carrying her wheelchair because of the whole ramp situation. She felt a little warmth tingling in her thinking about it. Beatrice replies instantly after that, causing Ava to lose her train of thought.

**Beatrice: Well of course you wouldn’t know. We haven’t had coffee yet, remember? ;)**

Ava pauses. The emoji placement at the end. Oh. Could Beatrice be… 

**Beatrice: Sorry for that random emoji. Still trying to get a hang of texting.**

Ava sighs. She doesn’t know if she’s disappointed or glad that was Beatrice’s response.

**Ava: it’s okay. wait. you don’t text your friends? are we in the 18th century or what?**

**Beatrice: Hey! It’s just I’m more used to meeting my friends face-to-face, well I mean like one other friend, at least. We don’t talk much via text. We call each other or just meet somewhere if we have to.**

**Ava: ah… that explains the whole perfect capitalization in your messages. you don’t need to do that you know? it’s what most people do nowadays, text without caps**

**Beatrice: And why would I do that? It’s probably a bad practice that might counteract my writing skills.** **  
  
**

**“Oops, I hit a hard spot,” Ava says to herself softly, lying on her bed.**

**Ava: Hmm, good point. I should stop doing that as well…**

**Beatrice: Yes, Ava. You should.**

**Beatrice sends a GIF, a Kermit with two thumbs-up. Ava smiles at the moving image, feeling more affection for her friend.**

**Ava: Kermit! You’re getting good at texting already, ma’am!**

Ava and Beatrice text each other for an hour or so more, with Ava sending funny Tik-Toks to Beatrice and Ava having to explain the random dances or current-trends. Ava didn’t mind at all, she found herself enjoying their conversations and learning about Bea’s own interests and all. 

**Beatrice: Alright Ava, it’s getting late now, I’ll be heading for bed now. I had a great time talking with you all night.**

**Ava: Goodnight Bea, it’s been awesome getting to know you and your profound use of proper capitalization in iMessage. Though I think you might’ve converted me! Hope you have a good dream tonight. Don’t let the bed bugs bite.**

Ava sends a Kermit image on a bed.

Beatrice attaches the same Kermit meme with the hearts that Ava sent her before and adds “Goodnight.”

Ava smiled a satisfactory grin to herself and plopped her head onto the pillow and dozed off.

—

  
  


Beatrice is 20 minutes early. She prefers to arrive at places before everyone else in any event so she can prepare herself. She stood outside the small, but honestly a very cozy-looking cafe to admire the busyness of the town area. Many people were walking down the sidewalks and minding their own business. Beatrice felt stagnant, as though she was stuck in time, just levitating there. She breathed a deep breath and tucked one hand in her jean pocket and walked into the cafe.

The inside of the cafe is bustling with the typical sounds of a fairly busy day. It was a weekend at noon and it was not surprising that it was already half-filled. She decided to get a seat by the window just in case it gets too busy and they aren’t able to get one. She sits down comfortably on the wooden chair and places her backpack down. She then spends her remaining time just adjusting her hair and jacket using her phone mirror while waiting for Ava. She felt nervous, truth to be told. This felt like a nice friendship blooming but at the same time, it feels different. Different from what she had with her female friends at the nunnery. Lilith and Shannon were great friends but she never actually thought of them as potential romantic partners. Ava felt different. She doesn’t know why, exactly. Maybe it was her cute smile or her efforts in making cheesy jokes. Or maybe even those memes that she sends Beatrice to express herself virtually. “Oh God, help me. I don’t even know if she’s into girls or not.” Beatrice thinks to herself. 

Beatrice looks up from the table when she hears the door open and sees that Ava was there. She was exactly on time. And she was wearing a yellow summer dress. Beatrice unwittingly swallowed. Then, Beatrice quickly stands up and removes the other wooden chair opposite her to make room for Ava and her wheelchair. 

“Thank you, Beatrice. You’re here early! I thought I was early enough already, didn’t think you would beat me to it.” 

“I prefer to be on time, which in my case is usually 15-20 minutes before the aforementioned agreed time,” Beatrice explains. 

“Well, it makes me look like I’m late!” Ava laughs at that. 

“It’s nothing, Ava. It was just something I decided to do to calm my nerves down before meeting up with you.” Beatrice reveals. She thinks to herself that she might’ve said a bit too much on that.

“You’re nervous? You? The girl who texts with perfect grammar and capitalization?” Ava smirks at that. “I mean, I definitely woke up a little too early for a weekend and took too long to decide on what to wear but imagining you being nervous is an entirely other thing, Bea!” 

“I… I don’t know either, this is all, very new to me. I noticed that you’re using Bea a lot?”

“I would imagine a lot of guys would be lining up for you. Look at you, you’re… Well, you’re YOU. And yeah, I like how Bea sounds like. Hope that’s okay with you?” Ava says sweetly that Beatrice couldn’t even feel any sort of negative emotion from that.

“Yes. It’s okay. It’s…nice. No one’s called me that before.” Beatrice pauses and shifts a little nervously over what she’s about to say next. Praying that this wouldn’t ruin their friendship. “And as for the whole men would be lining before me, that’s not exactly the case. I’m not really into men?” Beatrice fidgets with her sleeves as she waits for Ava’s reply.

“Oh,” Ava says, slowly. Her expression doesn’t reveal much but it showed that she was thinking through everything that Beatrice had just admitted to her. 

“Oh………. I get it. I totally get it. I mean I don’t get it like I’ve dated other girls or had any type of experience with that before because I have not.” Ava is looking slightly flustered now. “But, I’m not…against it.” Ava taps her fingers on the table and glances at Beatrice.

Beatrice smiles. That went better than she thought it would’ve. Before she gets a chance to even think about a reply, Ava quickly says “Come on, enough chit-chat! Let’s get some coffee and drinks!” And with that, they both went to the counter to get their refreshments. 

“Hey, Ava! It’s nice to see you again! Oh look, you brought a friend too!” The girl at the counter greeted cheerfully.

Ava nods her head. “Yep, Camila, meet Beatrice. Beatrice, meet Camila.” Ava gestures to both of them. Ava then turns her head to look at Beatrice and says “Camila is the owner of the cafe, I’ve known her for some time now. She even knows my order too!” 

“Oh. Umm… Hi Camila, it’s nice to meet you.” Beatrice says, trying her best to not seem too awkward.

“Nice to meet you too Beatrice, it’s really rare for Ava to bring someone else. You must be special.” Camila says, with no hesitation.

Beatrice didn’t know how to react to that tidbit of information she had just learned about Ava so she kept quiet. Camila turns to Ava and says “Okay, so I know you want the Soufflé Cheesecake with a venti Iced Chocolate Latte. How about you, Beatrice?” Both Camila and Ava turn to face Beatrice. Beatrice looked to the menu behind Camila and quickly decided to go with a cup of green tea and a sugar-glazed donut. Simple. 

“Alright, so that would be 20 dollars altogether,” Camila says after she presses a couple of buttons on the cash register. 

Beatrice pulls out her wallet in her pocket and handed her the cash. Before Camila could take the notes in her hand, Ava gently places her hand above Beatrice’s wrist. 

“Hey, you don’t have to do that. I invited you here so I’ll pay for our stuff.”

Beatrice was touched by that small gesture but she insisted on paying for the order. 

“Thank you, Ava, but it’s okay. I can get this. You can pay next time, okay?” Beatrice said. She was getting braver with every interaction she had with the other girl. The warm sensation of Ava’s palm probably did help with that too. 

“Okay. Next time huh? You’re getting eager…” Ava says with a curl on her lips. 

Beatrice smiles at that, pay her money to Camila, and keeps the receipt for her taxes later. 

“Thank you both! I’ll get started on your order now, hope to see you guys again.” Camila says and turns her back to make their drinks.

—- 

“Green tea? That sounds… I don’t know, a bit boring? I’ve never tasted it before in my entire life.” Ava says with a curious look on her face as Beatrice took a sip from her cup.

humor not boring, Ava. It’s good and has lesser sugar and caffeine than your cup of Latte over there.” Beatrice replies.

“Hey! Don’t attack my Latte. It’s probably unhealthy as fuck but it tastes so good so, why not, right? But Bea, I’m so curious how green tea tastes like, could I get a taste?” Ava says.

Ava was 100% honest with the fact that she has never tried out green tea before. It was just something that never came up. Now with someone as interesting as Beatrice liking green tea, she had to know how this drink tastes like.

“Oh. Sure. Yeah. Yeah, you can try some.” Beatrice answers, surprised at that sudden question from Ava.

“Yay! That’s great.” Ava cheers. Beatrice hands her the warm cup and their hands’ touch, if only for a brief moment. Ava tried not to think about that and focused on trying out the drink. She brings the cup to her mouth and drinks a good mouthful of it. 

“Oh, it tastes so good! Why have I not tried this out, oh my goodness? I’ve been missing out. Though, I’m still pretty sure my Latte is better but green tea is probably high up there now.” Ava says, while placing down the cup onto the table. 

And then she realizes. The cup now had a faint mark of her lip tint. It wasn’t too bad or anything but then she also notes that that was on the same spot Beatrice had drunk from. Oh no. She had forgotten to ask if it was okay to put her lips on the cup. It was common courtesy to ask someone that before they practically indirectly kiss each other via coffee cups. She blushes at the thought of them kissing, even if it was indirect. “Shit. I might be a little gay after all…” Ava thinks to herself.

“Sorry Beatrice, I just realized that I left a mark on your cup and I didn’t even ask you if you were okay with me putting my lips on yo—“ Ava’s anxious apology is interjected by Beatrice. 

“No, it’s fine Ava. Not a big deal at all. You don’t have to worry about that.” Beatrice says nonchalantly.

“Okay, just… Just please tell me if I ever make you anyway uncomfortable at all, okay? I sometimes can get carried away by things and act stupidly without thinking first.”

“It wasn’t stupid, Ava. You forgot that’s all. Nobody harmed and everything is fine. Let’s get to our food, shall we? Beatrice nods toward Ava’s slice of cake.

Ava was reassured by Beatrice’s words. She felt better but still a little bad about the whole cup debacle but her attention is carried away by the mention of her cake. She had forgotten it, a result of the distraction of Beatrice. She rarely gets distracted away from food but somehow, the girl in a black jacket in front of her did. “Maybe I have a tiny crush…Okay, let’s not think about that Ava, while she is sitting directly in front of you.” Ava reminds herself in her head.

They both enjoyed their desserts and somehow an exchanging of both their desserts happened. Ava fed Beatrice a piece of the soft cake into her mouth that made Ava feel a whole lot of things at once. She even noticed a tint of red flush around Beatrice’s cheeks when that happened. Beatrice tries hiding it by covering her mouth with her hand while she chews. Ava grins at the poor attempt but finds herself thinking that the girl looked cute when she’s shy. 

After finishing their food, they talked about the library and how they both liked reading. The topic on the most recent book they both read came up and Beatrice pulls out a thick book from her backpack. It was  _ Priory of the Orange Tree! _

“Oh, oh! I just read that recently! Bea, I wouldn’t have guessed that you read stuff like that at all? I thought you would be reading philosophical books or classics of some sort.” 

“Well, you’re not entirely wrong. I do love books about philosophical theories and classic literature but you know I sometimes venture into stories my new friends read…” Beatrice says with a shy grin as her fingers fumbled with the pages of the book. 

“Wait a minute… You read it because of me? Was it because you saw me returning it that day?” Ava says excitedly.

“Yes, Ava. I did. I’ll have to admit that I was a tad curious about what a girl that sends Kermit memes and scrolls on Tik Tok for hours chooses to read. The book was great though, so your taste is surprisingly good.” Beatrice says while she unconsciously flips the pages rapidly and gets a whiff of the scent of the book.

Ava laughs at Beatrice’s instinct of smelling the book. That was something she did too. The scent of books, old or new was heaven to her. It was a drug. She doesn’t do any to know how drugs feel like but that was close as far as she knows. 

“I have good taste okay! But it is great that you like it, who was your favorite character?” Ava asks, happy to know that Beatrice enjoyed something that she did.

The two girls talked for a few hours about the book. Beatrice told Ava some of her interpretations of certain scenes and even surprised her with some details that she didn’t notice when she had read it. It was interesting to see another person’s point of view when talking about books as it’s usually different from her own and opens up a whole new world for her. She did notice that she didn’t say much about the romance. Ava decided she didn’t want to pry too much into that. Ava made Beatrice laugh by impersonating some characters in the book, even the non-human ones like the dragon which almost caused Beatrice to snort her green tea. Thankfully, she didn’t think or else that would be a great story for Ava to make fun of Bea playfully in the future. They moved on from that book to talking about other books they both liked and even got recommendations for each other. Ava suggests a cool sci-fi series that she loves and Beatrice recommends some Jane Austen. Typical Beatrice. 

After their long conversations, they both noticed that it was now getting dark and approaching the evening. Their cups were now empty and their plates were scraped clean so they decided that they should start leaving soon. Ava didn’t want the day to end yet. She felt exhilarated with everything that had happened today, from the indirect kiss to the food and not to mention finding a friend that had similar interests as her. It was a dream come true. 

“Hey, so… I don’t want the day to end just yet. Umm… How about we grab something to eat for dinner and walk around town?” Ava asks, hoping that Beatrice feels the same.

“I was just about to ask you the same thing. I had so much fun. Have. I’m having so much fun with you and it’s nice to feel this way. So, yes. I’m okay with that idea of yours.” Beatrice answers with a timid smile. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t know if you could tell but I was craving for some cheesecake. My favourite type are the Japanese ones, if you haven’t tried them, please do! It’s much softer than the regular ones and tastes like heaven. Hope you enjoyed this chapter!


	4. a late night chat with good company and good food

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beatrice introduces Ava to a new type of food she had never tried before. Beatrice somehow reveals her past in their conversations. What’s the best way to get closer to someone if not going through emotional trauma, am I right?

After throwing away their empty cups in the bin, they were both now outside in the cool air. It was getting dark, though there is still some light seeping through the clouds. Beatrice has her hands in her jacket pockets and they both awkwardly stare at each other. Beatrice decides to break the silence and suggests that they should get dinner since they both finished their drinks and food quite some time ago. 

“How about some street food? I know a place nearby.” Beatrice says to Ava, who is now looking up at her with big, puppy eyes.

“Street food? Hell yeah! What’re we going to eat?” Ava replies excitedly, at the mention of food.

“It’s a surprise,” Beatrice says with a grin. She feels herself unwinding the tight strings wrapped around her and letting loose when she spends time with Ava. It felt nice to be that way around someone. It was beginning to feel more and more comforting. She didn’t know what to do about this feeling, yet. She’ll deal with it soon,

—

Beatrice guides Ava to a food truck by the side of a road, next to a park. The truck had bright lights and had a banner hanging by the side of it. 

_ Mr. Ramlan’s Roti Canai Eatery. _

“Oooo what is it? I’ve never been here before and  _ roti canai _ sounds cool already.” 

Beatrice smiles at Ava’s interest. “It’s a type of food mainly found in Southeast Asia. It’s essentially flatbread with curry. Hope you’re okay with curry? I should’ve asked that beforehand but if it’s not we can get something else nearby.” Beatrice explains. She forgot that some people might not like spicy food. 

“Hell yeah, Bea! I love spicy food, it gives me a little  _ spice _ in my life,  _ am I right _ ?” Ava says, wiggling one of her eyebrows, clearly impressed by her pun. 

Beatrice chuckles at that. She enjoyed Ava’s humour, even if she didn’t necessarily think she ever would’ve if it was anyone else. “Good one Ava. Come on, let’s get some food.” 

Beatrice did the ordering since Ava had no idea what they were eating. She got two _ roti canais’ _ with  _ Kari Ayam  _ (chicken curry) and two cups of  _ Teh Tarik _ (hot milk tea) for the both of them. She paid, thanked him, and took their food to the closest park bench. Beatrice purposefully sat at the edge of the bench so she could sit directly next to Ava when they eat for obvious moral reasons and a not so obvious one which is her desire to sit closer to the girl. 

“Wow, this is so cool. It’s what, tea that is pulled? Did you see that guy preparing it, must burn a buttload of calories to repeatedly do that each time a customer buys something? And it tastes so good too! Sweet, but good.” Ava says while holding the cup and drinking the contents. She leaves a slight milk stain above her upper lip and Beatrice giggles at the sight. She’s feeling brave tonight. She pulls out a piece of tissue from her backpack and carefully wipes the stain away. They both looked into each other for a tad too long while this happened and then looked away after, both turning red. “Thanks, Beatrice,” Ava says, softly, almost in a whisper.

“No worries.” In an attempt to steer the situation into a less serious one, Beatrice adds “I thought the drink would suit you. I noticed you liked sweet things.  _ Teh Tarik _ is sweet and I got reminded of you when I was deciding on where we should go.” 

“Well, I like it. I’m coming here more often now. Oh, we should get to eating our _ roti  _ before they get cold.” 

They both ate silently for a few minutes. It would probably be disastrous if they tried talking anyways, the curry would flow  _ everywhere _ . They finished their food and Ava sighs with pleasure on her last bite. 

“That was so good! Man, I’m kicking myself right now, not knowing this existed earlier! Oh wait, I can’t kick myself. Oh well, it's still really good.” Ava laughs at her joke.

Beatrice laughs, infected by Ava’s. “Well it’s better late than never, right? I wouldn’t have known about this food if it weren’t for my dad and mom bringing me along to Malaysia for their work. It was one of the consolations to have amazing food when there was nothing else to look forward to.” Beatrice reveals. She’s never told anyone about her parents before. It was a subject that she prefers to keep quiet about. It’s not something she revisits often. Her expression was now unreadable and suddenly distant.

Ava furrowed her eyebrows and gently placed her palm above Beatrice’s. “Hey, Bea? Come back here.” Ava places her other hand and holds Beatrice’s hands tightly. “It’s okay. I understand how it feels like to have nothing to live for. I was there once, too. You can talk to me about it if it’ll make you feel better?” Ava looks into Beatrice’s eyes with the utmost affection. 

Beatrice was stunned. She would imagine someone else in the same situation might call the day when something like this happens. Not everyone would carry the emotional baggage she had. She couldn’t do this to Ava. The bright and cheerful girl didn’t deserve this. “I… don’t…” Beatrice looks at Ava’s face, her awaiting Beatrice’s reply with patience. No. She trusts Ava. She trusts that she would understand. Their time together had shown that the two opposites were pretty similar in a way or another. 

“I...yes. I hope that’s okay with you. I’ve never really told this to anyone before.” Beatrice feels herself starting to stutter, slightly. It’s no surprise though, she had been holding this back for years now.

“My parents are British Diplomats. They are also very religious. I… I rarely talked to them, besides for Sunday church since they were usually somewhere else for their work. Well, when I was in secondary school, I had a friend over. A girl. We weren’t doing anything overtly sexual, just kissing. Then…” Beatrice’s eyes were glassy now. Her mind gave her flashbacks to that night. 

Ava rubs Beatrice’s hand tenderly, trying to comfort her. Beatrice breathes in deeply and continues. “My parents came back early. I didn’t expect them to come home that quickly from their business trip. They came into my room without knocking and they saw me. They saw me kissing her.” Beatrice says. Her lips were tight now, trying to hold her tears back.

“Hey, that’s horrible. They shouldn’t have come into your room like that without knocking.” Ava says.

“That wasn’t even the worst part. They screamed at me and the girl, making her leave without a word. Cursing me and expressing their disappointment in me, their only daughter. How God would burn me for doing this and how I’m going to hell when I die.” Beatrice laughs, looking up into the dark sky, filled with stars, still trying to avoid her tears from rolling down her face.

“I… I don’t know what to say to that but. That must’ve been a traumatic moment in your life. It’s horrible, what happened to you.” Ava utters, still holding Beatrice’s hand. 

Beatrice looked back down at Ava. 

“My whole life, people have tried to make me into something I’m not. To make me normal. Or at least acceptable. But when you’re punished just for being different, you begin to hate what you are.” Beatrice says, almost angrily. A tear rolls down her face. It was warm.

“I lost my friends, they moved me to a different school. They took away my access to the outside world. I decided to become a nun. To be away from everything that tore me apart. I wanted to be distracted by something else. Didn’t work out.” 

Beatrice pauses. Ava looks at her, waiting for her to continue. She doesn’t. She felt exhausted, revisiting those painful memories. Ava looked at her with understanding and said with a tone so tender Beatrice thought she would burst from it. 

“Don’t hate what you are. What you are is  _ beautiful _ .” 

With that sentence, Beatrice lets go. She lets go of that weight in her shoulder that she had been unaware that she was carrying all these years. She made herself believe that all these years she was okay and moved on from her past. She realizes now that she didn’t, not fully at least. But this short confession, yes, it was a confession, made her understand that all it takes was her to let go of herself,  _ one day at a time _ . Her face was full of tears now. She was aware of the sound of her sobs but couldn’t hold back anymore. It was a good cry, a cry to finally begin her journey on fully accepting herself. She thought she did before this, but her keeping it all in herself did nothing to sustain that. 

Ava lets go of Beatrice’s hands.  _ That’s it _ . I showed too much of myself and I’m paying for it now, she’s going to leave. But she doesn’t. Beatrice feels a warm body pressed up against her tightly. Ava’s hands were wrapped around Beatrice’s back, not letting go. Beatrice is stunned. She didn’t react for a few seconds. She was used to hugging others, albeit awkwardly most of the time, but being hugged, out of nowhere too, was something unbelievable. She grounded herself back to where she was, at the park, with a kind, funny and beautiful girl and finally, hugs back. She lifts her arms and embraces Ava. People were walking by the bench where they were sitting but she didn’t care. All that mattered was the two of them. Right here, right now. She breathes Ava in deeply and sighs contentedly. It felt great, being held. Maybe she doesn’t have to carry her pain all alone anymore.

  
  


Minutes pass and Beatrice pulls away, needing to make sure Ava was okay.

“Hey, are you okay?” Beatrice asks.

“Bea, it’s you I should be worried about. Your crying made me feel so helpless. I wanted to hug you and comfort you the entire time because you looked like you were in so much pain, telling me that.” 

“No. No. It feels so good to let go of all that.” Beatrice averts her eyes from Ava’s. She takes a deep breath and turns back to look at Ava again.

“I’ve never felt so free! All this time, I’ve been hiding my past, maybe even refusing to admit it was mine. But somehow, you, Ava, made me pour it all out in one night.” Beatrice says, with a smile at the end.

  
  


“I hope you know that I’ll always be here if you want to talk. You can tell me anything you want. Whenever.” Ava replies, her hand now on Beatrice’s lap.

“Thank you, Ava. I’m still learning how to be more open, with myself and with others. You helped me today, and I’ll forever be grateful for you.” Beatrice reassures.

“You did too, Bea. I never felt so free with anyone else before. It was everything to me, the time I spent with you.” 

Beatrice smiles at Ava’s openness. She wanted to be like her. Or to be with her. She holds her crucifix necklace with one hand while holding Ava’s in another and thanked God for giving Beatrice something so special. Her relationship with God wasn’t a smooth ride but when things like this happen, she feels reassurance that someone is watching.

They both leaned into one another’s shoulders and just looked at the moonlit sky, silently. It wasn’t awkward. It felt natural. Their silence after their emotionally-charged conversation was comforting and it felt like it was filled with understanding. 

After some time when Beatrice notices that Ava yawned, she decided that it was probably too late to be out now. She tells Ava that they should go home now. She insists on pushing Ava’s wheelchair, considering that Ava looked tired and wanted her to relax a bit. They reach the side road and Beatrice orders a Uber to pick them both up. It took some time to get Ava into the car, with the whole dismantling her wheelchair and putting it in the boot but it was done properly. She managed to carry Ava and placed her softly into the backseat and seated herself directly next to her.

It felt as though the both of them were alone, the driver was not one to be chattering away, which Beatrice was incredibly grateful for. Beatrice allowed herself to be brave and place her hand near Ava’s on the car seat. Their pinkies touch. Ava looks over to Beatrice and smiles, softly. She intertwines her hand with Beatrice’s and they maintained that till they both arrived at Ava’s home. 

After the wheelchair was assembled and ready to go, Beatrice quickly informed the Uber to wait for a couple of minutes. She walked Ava to her doorstep and they both stopped in front of the door and looked at each other. Ava breaks the silence.

“Thank you for the day, Bea. It was great. I loved everything about it.” 

“Thank you too, Ava. This entire day was the most fun I had in a long time with someone else. I’m glad it was you.” Beatrice admits.

Ava flushes with Beatrice’s words. “Hug me goodbye?” 

Beatrice wouldn’t say no to that, of course. She stepped closer and leaned down for a hug. It was quick but when Beatrice was pulling away, Ava leans into Beatrice’s cheek and leaves a peck. Beatrice was stunned at that small gesture. She didn’t know if Ava had feelings for her that way or anything but maybe that was a sign? She didn’t have time to think when Ava wished her goodnight and was already pulling away. 

Ava goes into her home and waves goodbye to Beatrice. “Text me when you get home, okay? Be safe, Bea.” Beatrice was dumbfounded for once in her life and didn’t manage to reply to Ava’s question, filled with care for Beatrice’s safety. 

Beatrice took a few steps back and walked toward the car. She opened the door and almost went in before she closed it shut to walk back to Ava’s front door. 

She pressed the doorbell and waited, anxiously. She didn’t know what she was doing but it felt right. Ava opens the door with a face that showed that she was surprised but also almost glad to see Beatrice again. 

“Wha… What’re you doing here Beatrice? I thought you left?” Ava questions.

“I...I forgot to do something.” And with that, she kneels and surges forward to kiss Ava. It felt as though something deep in her had woken up. She pauses for a second, leaning back as Ava didn’t seem to be kissing her back. 

“Woah, I am bisexual,” Ava says, then it was her turn to kiss Beatrice back. Ava was a good kisser, she had some sort of prior experience and the way she’s parting Beatrice’s lips is making Beatrice’s mind fill up with things she wants to do that would be seen as sinful to some. They both pulled back after a while, gasping for air. 

“You know, I thought you didn’t like it when I kissed you on your cheek just now. I thought I fucked up the night for sure.” Ava says while her hands are around Beatrice’s neck. 

“I was in shock. I didn’t know you would’ve had any feelings for me. I mean honestly, I didn’t know you would reciprocate till a minute ago.” Beatrice explains. 

“Well, Bea… Let’s just say that I very much like you and you don’t have to second-guess whether I have any feelings for you or not. Because I do.” Ava smirks and leans forward to plant a quick kiss on Beatrice’s lips. They both learned their forehead against each other and stayed like that for a while, till the Uber driver winded down the window to remind Beatrice that he was still there, waiting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for spending your time reading this! I decided to complete this one before I uploaded each chapter. I wasn’t going to repeat the same mistake I did with my previous work with I ended up neglecting after a while. I had a lot of fun writing this over the course of a few days, distracting myself from everything happening. Again, hope you enjoyed this!
> 
> Extras:  
> Teh Tarik 'pulling' I was referencing to : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7X7W3lz9zi8&ab_channel=malaysiadotcom  
> Warrior Nun Discord, I'm in this although I mostly lurk around! Feel free to join! : https://discord.gg/U2hscupFfv

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading this! Please do leave a comment, if you’d like to of course. I don’t mind criticism some constructive criticism too as I’m aware that my grammar isn’t very great. Do cut me some slack though, English isn’t my first language and this is mostly for me to practice more!


End file.
